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Thursday, December 31, 2009

My 2010 Horoscope

I love reading horoscopes, but I don't really let them have that much weight in my life. They are something fun to past the time. Today I was on Yahoo and decided to see what 2010 held for me. The horoscope really surprised because in so many ways it's true and I have being having these feelings for the past few months especially the part about taking care of me.

Year 2010 Overview
Whew! Feel that enormous burden sliding off of your shoulders, like you've been carrying around an overstuffed backpack for the last couple of years? That would be Saturn, planet of structures and limitation, moving out of your sign. Congratulations, first of all, on having simply made it through more or less in one piece. You passed through the fire and made it out the other side.

Now, what to do with that spiritual Medal of Honor you've earned? Well, for one thing, establish who it is you really are with both yourself and those around you. Your ability to quietly endure both the big and little outrages of life have served you well in the last couple of years, and many of those around you may have come to assume that either it wasn't as rough on you as it was, or that you are somehow made of steel. In fact, you may have come to the same conclusion yourself. Virgo has a reputation for being able to take care of others with the best of them -- but can you turn that same care and attention on yourself? That's the big question you'll be facing in 2010.

The good news (beyond simply less bad news) is that there will be all kinds of opportunities opening up for you in new directions as far as fun, recreation and romance. So take advantage of those whenever you can. You've earned it!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Christmas 2009

We did our traditional head to my sister's house on Christmas Eve this year and because of a recent move by her family they are now in Denton, TX instead of Lake Dallas which is alot closer to me. As we were heading out it started to snow - WOW. We never have snow at Christmas in Texas. I later found out it had been 83 years since it had snowed on Christmas Day. I decided to still go. We did not visist with the family at Thanksgiving and it had been awhile since my Mom had seen Holli. So after prayers we headed out. I figured we were heading back home by 5:30 so no big deal.

We got to my sisters and it had really began to snow at her house since she was further North. We got there and the girls had a blast. We exchanged gifts. My Mom had brought a gift from Holli's father to give to her. Alvin had tld my mother he had a big bag of gifts for her and he did. He gave her a backpack fulll of school supplies that he had gotten free. The backpack and the supplies had a sticker with the State Farm Agent's who had been a sponsor. He also got her a little art kit, some bubble gum and a couple of candy canes. Yep, Dad of the year. Thankfully, Holli had so many other things the backpack was not even a blip for her. BIL and me played Seinfeld Scene It (yeah he beat me bad) and before you know it it was 8pm and the cars were covered with snow. Now the decision was do we leave and head home or stay and have the Diva miss out on Santa Claus bringing her gifts on Christmas morning. After alot of prayer, I decided to head out and if the roads were really bad we would just turn around. My Mom decided to do the same. I figured she would stay at my sister's house since she had alot further to go. Snow is alot easier to drive on than ice. :) So I did not have any problems with traction. The only very white knuckle part of the trip was crossing the Lewisville Bridge. It goes across a very big lake. I was driving 20 miles per hour, blinkers on and not allowing Holli to talk. I even turned off the radio so I completely concentrate. I got across and the closer I got to home the roads improved. I still drove carefully because I did not know if there was an ice patch or not. We got home and the driveway was frozen solid so I was only able to pull in far enough so the car was not in the street and we went in the house and prepared for Santa.

Holli woke up at almost 8 am and was off. She loved her wonderful presents, but those gifts did not compare to the snow that was covering the backyard. Her only wish for Christmas was for us to go out side, build a snowman, have a snow ball fight and make snow angels. I passed on the snow angel part, but we had a wonderful time with the other 2. :)

We left to get milk and movies and spent the day enjoying each other's company. since Holli had spent so much time outside in the snow she was fast asleep by 8pm so I got to watch the new Star Trek movie and National Treasure.

We had a wonderful holiday time. I would post pics but my phone cable broke and I have to order a new one.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Princess and the Frog

I loved Princess and the Frog so much that I decided to do a separate post.

Holli and I went to see Princess and the Frog on December 13, 2009. Holli was decked out in her favorite denim skirt, her purple Tiana t-shirt and her $16.50 Princess and the Frog tiara and off we went.

We were blessed with a Movie Gift card to a theater in Dallas so we did not see it in our neighborhood, but in Dallas.

We loved the movie and danced and be bopped to Dig a Little Deeper and even clapped at the end. I don't think the movie is going to be up for any Academy Awards, but as we were walking out of the movie theater. Holli goes "Mommy, thank you for taking me to see Princess and the Frog. I got to see a Princess that looks just like me." All I could think of at that moment was Thank You Disney. Some (critics and whatnot) are complaining about how the movie follows the Disney Princess formula of the Prince rescuing the girl at the end of the movie. Those comments piss me off. I keep thinking little black girls have plenty of role models of black women taking care of business and making it on their own. Let them believe that they can have a Prince and live happily ever after also. They complain that the Prince is not black. Come on people how many of you can even remember the Prince's name in any of the movies. How many little girls have asked for the Prince doll. The movie is not about the Prince. The Prince looked just like all other Disney Prince same features just different color skin and hair. I say Bravo to Disney for not making Naveen any different. We want our girls to have a Disney Princess Movie, not something different. We want our girls to see Tianna as Disney Princess, yes one that looks like them,but still a Disney Princess to be up there with Cinderella and Ariel. A Princess that girls of all races can inspire to be like.

I also love the fact that the movie has a strong Black Father Figure in the movie and even though Tiana's Father is only at the beginning of the movie he still has such a strong influence over her life, which our little girls so need with so many of them being raised in all female households. I also loved the fact that her name was changed. We did not want a Princess Maddy among the names such as Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, Mulan, We wanted something unique and different.
So thank you Disney, you did an GREAT job in my opinion.

Finally after Holli and I listened to the Princess and the Frog CD for the 100th time. Holli tells me Mommy I don't think I am going to be Cinderella anymore. This is big. She has been Cinderella since she was 3. I ask her if she is going to be Tiana now. She goes No, I am just going to be Holli. So my baby girl is coming out of her Princess stage and growing up (sniff, sniff)

December 23, 2009 and I am at work

Those that know me are probably shocked!. I never work Christmas. NEVER. I am always at home being lazy. This year because of so many days I had to take off because of my "female" problems, Holli illness and general I am sick of work days. Here I sit at work and amazingliny...It is not the end of the world. Holli is at Kidz Kamp at our recreation center having a blast and learning responsibility about money. I am at work with enough work to keep me busy, but plenty of time for my internet addiction. Christmas presents are bought, but not wrapped, but I never wrap early so it's no big deal. I will wrap tonight and finally have something under the tree.

As 2009 comes to an end I guess I will give an update before the end of year update

My Dad had open heart surgery and came thru with flying colors. Thank you everyone for our prayers.

I am still employed at a job that I am bored with , but I truly have some favorites among my co-workers.

Holli had her 1st ER visit. We had went to see Princess and the Frog that evening (Can I just say I LOVE that movie. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE and will explain in a few) I did not think she was feeling that great, but we had been talking up the movie for so long I did not want to disappoint her. Warning bell #1 should have been when she wanted water and not the Kid's Movie Pack. Warning Bell# 2 should have been when she wanted water after the movie but did not want to go out to eat.
I got my baby girl home after the movie and she was not hungry but thirsty and wanted to sleep in my bed. I put her to bed with a 103.7 fever with some Tylenol, canister of juice and some 24 hour cartoons. I called her doctor and was told to watch her. Her fever began to go down and I fell asleep to be woken by baby girl at 2:30 AM telling me she was thirsty, which was strange because she can go get water and I took her temperture which was 104. I just both of us dressed and went to the ER. I can't believe how my heart was beating in my chest. I was scared and I mean scared. Holli was such a trooper. She had to get an IV because she was very dehydrated, she had an UTI and the early stages of bronchitis. I am so glad I followed my 1st mind to just take her to the ER. I know there is an Urgent care center around here, but I could not remember where at the time. I need to make a note and post the directions on the fridge.

After our very tumultous summer. Holli's father and I are still not speaking, but we are not at each other's throat. We had an incident in October when his benefits office made a mistake and did not add her to his health insurance that we had words and he asked me for sex, but for the most part we have ignored each other until we had the Child Support Modification Hearing on December 3, 2009. He is still a coward and chose not to show up and face me. I got a raise and found out that he is required to pay 50% of all child care cost so much for him telling me that when he helps out with child care he is doing it out of the goodness of his heart. At the moment I am only going to require the Holiday and Summer childcare because that is what is keeping me in a bind. I am will be civil, reasonable and respectful if he will. Anyhoo, he did not go sign the paperwork so that the paperwork could be filed with the court and I sent him an email asking him did he seriously want to spend all day at a Dallas Courthouse and pay Court fees for an child support order that was going to be approved espescially since he did not bother to protest it or show up at the Modication hearing. He gave some excuse about not having the phone number to the AG's office. Seriously, you don't have the number for people taking money out of your pay check every month, people who can issue a warrant for you arrest. I blew him off with a It's your choice, your decision, have a nice day and I am praying for you. I believe he went in to sign the paperwork since I have not heard back from them. I am trying to start off 2010 with us being at least civil so I did send him an email about us being civil to each other. I guess time will tell.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

An update

October has been a crazy month...

We finally had the Diva's birthday party. She had a blast. We had it at a little pocket park down the street from a friend's house. The kid's ran around and played and some even made a couple of bookmarks (you know how anti goody bag I am) My camera did not work, but a friend took some pictures. I need to ask her for them so I can post. I am a little ticked that none of my family showed up, but it is what it is.


The last couple of days have been stressfull. My Dad went in to get a stent put in his heart. Doctor said it was very routine and he would be home that evening. Instead they found 3 arties that were blocked and now we are waiting for him to be scheduled for open heart surgery. So please keep him in your prayers


Work - Can I say I absolutely detest our HR lady and I don't think I am in the top 50on her list either. I am still praying that I find a new job or win the lottery soon. You know what I am lying...I am not praying for a new job. I want to win the lottery and not work at all. :) I don't even need alot just enough to pay off the house and stay home while the Diva is at school and summe camp. lol So I am off to buy my ticket for this Saturday's drawing. Wish me luck

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Child Support Review

I got a letter from the AG's office saying stating I have a child support review hearing. I wonder if The Diva's Father is finally making some money. It will be good to get more than $175 a month in child support. Too bad the meeting is not until Dec 3 and I don't think that they will have time to add the increase by the December's check. Since we are still not speaking to each other, I doubt he will mention changing the health insurance back to my plan instead of his so that's a headache I don't have to deal with.

In other news, The Diva has been so clingy lately. I have no idea what's going on. I know I have been grumpy because of drama going on at work, but I do my best to not take work and all of it's bs home with me. She has also not been obeying and whining so I am not sure if it's growing pains or her doing anything to get some attention from me. The Diva has always been such a mature independent creature I guess I forget sometimes.

This weekend is her birthday party and I am pretty sure I am going to be horrible Mom of the year because I am not doing goody bags with all that crap in them. I have popcorn balls, fruit snacks and I am going to the store to grab some pencils and whistles to give away, but the kiddos will not be leaving with a sack of junk that breaks 5 minutes later.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Happy 7th Birthday Baby Girl


My little one turned 7 today. I am surprised you have not heard it because she has told everyone that makes eye contact with her that her birthday is September 25 and she will be 7 yrs old. We woke up this morning with our tradition Birthday Tickle (I don't spank even for a play spank) and she is off. She went to the kitchen for breakfast. She saw the gifts on the table and asked who's presents. Silly girl today is your day. I got her tons of clothes (never go to Target without a list of what you want) a Little Pony and a Little Pet Shop Game. Tonight we are going roller skating, yes I am terrified and then tomorrow we are going to Build A Bear and Ikea (her 2 favorite places) We are going to finish out the birthday weekend with a playdate with her friend Ellie. Mommy will be tired and pockets will be a little lighter but how many times does your Baby Girl turn 7. Her birthday bash is planned for Oct 10. I know some think it' strange to have her party 2 weeks after her birthday, but I like for birthday to be just a celebration we me and the diva at least for now. I am sure when she hits the tweens it will be about her friends, but right now she thinks I am pretty cool and I plan to take advantage of it.

Gotta remember to take another picture with the camera. My camera phone picture is to blurry.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A good day

Today is the 1st day in the past week I haven't thought about how much I hate The Diva's father and how pissed off I am at my Mom. I am still not talking to either one of them, but the anger is gone and I actual got a decent amount of sleep last night.

My sister and I actual exhanged emails today. We were never very close, but we had a relationship where we actual talked almost every day. I also decided that I would invite the Selmon family to The diva's party. I am not going to be taxing her back and forth to their house. If they want to be a part of her life it's on them. This will just be my way of letting them know I am not against it.

Work is crazy as usual and I got a verbal warning for tardies. We have to log into our phone at in the morning and at lunch time. I sit at my desk at lunch and forget to log back in. Now I am setting the alarm on my phone to remind me.

Friday, August 28, 2009

The aftermath

I am at my wits end with my family. They have me so mad I could spit nails.

After dumbass decided to not return my child I retaliated and hung signs on his door calling him a liar, coward and a tattletale since his 51 year old behind runs and tells my mother everything I do and say.

Dumbass called my Mother and had her so upset Monday telling her that he was never going to do anything for Holli and was not going to buy her a birthday gift, but then he called her back and decided he was his daughter a birthday present (mind you he has never remembered her birthday before and I had to remind him) so now my mother says he is trying to be a good Father. My Mother told him that I must be acting like this because I am menopausal and need hormones. It has nothing to do with the fact that he lied to me about helping pay for summer child care and not returning my child to me on August 16, 2009. That was just a misunderstanding...I guess I am such a horrible mother I forgot my child would not be coming home for 10 damn days

Now to add insult to injury..... Dumbass has decided that since I have upset him so much for hanging the fliers on his door he cannot talk to me again so now when he needs to tell me something he will call my Mom. My Mom will call me and I can give my reply back to her and then she will tell dumbass my response. My Mother has agreed to this. I told her she had to be kidding. Also since he is so upset with me he is going to mail my Mother The Diva's birthday present(the both live in the same city) and then my Mother will mail the gift to Holli or bring it to her. I told my mother that she was enabling that fool to act childish and immature. I talked with my sister and she said that Mom was just looking out for Holli so that is why she wanted to make sure she got a birthday gift. She is not going to be angry with dumbass like I am. Are they serious? He spends no time with her, he does not attend her school functions, he stood her up for the Father/Daughter dance, he does not visit when she sick, when her school closed because of the swine flu scare he would not use a day of his personal time to watch his child causing me to have to use my days, he works for the school district and I have to pay extra for child care because he want watch her during Thanksgiving, Christmas or Spring Break, but it's important that she gets another Bratz doll and a $10 McDonald's gift certificate. I told them both I was throwing the crap in the trash.

So now according to my family I am the bad guy being unreasonable and dumbass should be nominated for fucking Father of the year because he bought his child a pair of sneakers and is going to get her a birthday present. I am thru with all of them.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Today's my birthday nana nana

Happy 42nd Birthday to me. The day started off a little stressed, but now it's great. I am loved. I have great friends. I got 2 surprise birthday wishes from the opposite sex so right now I am on cloud 9.

Monday, August 24, 2009

I have a 1st grader


I can't believe my baby girl is now in the first grade. Last night she had to have her nails painted and this morning she had to put on lip gloss. We had a little disagreement about her hairstyle, but after I fixed it correctly all was well. :) This morning and she was a little clingy until she saw Ms. Dearman and then forgot about me.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Do not look good in orange jumpsuits (repeat 20 times)

Guess what asswipe decided to do this time. I am going to just copy and paste the email I sent to a friend. She had asked me if I needed help hiding a body.


YES!!!!

You know Gail call and asked if Holli could go to the Selmon family reuion with her and Reid. She picked up Holli on Thursday and they were supposed to be back on Sunday around lunch time. I told Gail to just call me when they got back and I would meet her somewhere.

Sunday around 3 pm I had not heard from anyone so I am calling Gail and leaving messages. Not panic, but concerned. I leave another message at 5:30 and decide that I will give an hour before I start blowing up phones. At 6:15 Gail sends me a text and says Holli is with her Grandma. No big deal it made sense for her to come back with them.

So I call Ms. Selmon on her cell and ask her are they back. She says they have been back I say Oh well I will be at your house in about an hour to pick up Holli.

Ms. Selmon goes What? Bubba said Holli was staying here for the week (this is his week to pay for summer child care) didn?t he tell you. I tell her Alvin has not talked to me in 2 weeks and No I did not know or agree to have Holli stay at your house for the week.

I get to Ms. Selmon's house and Holli runs down the stairs upset and goes Mommy, Did you come to take me home. I go yes go get your stuff. She goes Dimaya said I wasn?t going home I had to stay the night here. I ask Holli if her Dad had told her that she was going to her Granny?s house. Holli goes no, we were driving and we stopped and then my Dad told me to get in the car with my Aunt Kersten. I thought they were bringing me back to The Colony, but they brought me to my Granny?s house and then you did not come to pick me up and then Dimaya said I had to stay here. Mommy I want to go home."

I guess at that point my head started spinning and I was foaming at the mouth because Kersten was standing in front of me with her hands up saying we didn?t know, we didn?t know.

So they get help get Holli?s stuff together and Kersten goes well Bubba did buy her some shoes see. I am keeping my mouth close because I am furious and need to calm down so I just go uh huh okay

I texted Gail and told her that she called ME to pick up Holli and when she left with my child it was my understanding that she would be bringing my child back to ME and if there were any changes to that plan I trusted her to keep ME informed. I have not heard back from her.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

but I will miss you

Called The Diva to see how she was doing and if she was okay. Holli got on the phone and told me she was having fun and she missed me, but she was coming home on Saturday instead of Friday. little heffa .. I was in labor with you for 31 hours lol

Monday, August 3, 2009

And more drama

I swear The Diva's Dad is an ass. He makes an agreement to either watch his daughter or pay for her summer camp fee and every time his week comes up he has excuse after excuse that he thinks I am going to fall for. I stand my ground and he says I am acting like an ass which is a compliment because it means I made him accountable for his words. The best parts out of all of this drama is that Holli is getting to spend so much time with family. This week she is with her paternal grandmother and the 2nd part is that butt wipe is actually having to either pay for child care with everything else you have going on or figure out a plan B. It's like welcome to my world..

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Holli and her sisters

Despite her father being ass, Holli is having a blast with her sisters




Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Define a week

The Diva's father was going to bring her back on Wednesday. I couldn't believe it. Seriously what did he expect me to do take off from work because he can't keep his word. He is suppose to either pay for or watch his daughter two weeks of every month this summer. It is what he agreed to and now that I am wanting him to honor his word he is acting like he is the victim and I am the bad guy. I swear some days he is just stuck on stupid.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Childless

Well the Diva is in Lubbock this week with her Dad. I know amazing huh. She will be 7 in September and this is the first time he has had her overnight, much less for a week. Unfornatley I don't think it was some intervention from God or he was so upset that his daughter told him "see you a Christmas" on Father's day he decided to step up to the plate. He agreed in April to help pay for summer care. This was his week and so since he is staying in Lubbock with a friend he decided he would take the Diva with him.

I am so happy for Holli because she gets to spend some real time with her sisters. She hates being an only child on my side so I am afraid she may not want to come home. I hope he decides to take her back in August also.

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Perfect Daycare

One of Holli's classmates suggested I take Holli to her registered home daycare provider in March because the Diva was in the after school program and they closed when the school was closed and I had to take off or find alternative care. Me who "was" very prejudiced against a home daycare and found another daycare. Holli hated it from day one. She hated it. She told her teacher she hated. It was not that she was mistreated or abused she just did not mesh well with the teacher or other kids, a problem she had never had before. I even talked with the Director, who was very nice etc. I kept thinking I should change her, but it was $170 a month. That is an awesome price and as a single mom I have to watch not just my dollars, but pennies also. Well summer comes along and Holli still hates it even with all the fun activities they are doing so I decide to look into different care. I called the homedaycare and I really liked her from the begining. Well this morning started Holli's second week there and at 7:00 am (We leave the house at 7:45am) Holli informs me she is ready to go and she is going to go sit in the car. I had to practically drag her out the door to get her to go to the daycare before and then she clung to me. Now she leaves me at the door without even a goodbye.

So now my child is doing fewer activites with the homedaycare and it $25 cheaper a week. It will be $17 more a week than summer, but it so worth it.

Note to self - a great deal is not always the best deal.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Just a little update

Holli just came back from a week at Paw Paw and Pooka's. I love it because Pooka send back a suitcase full of clean clothes. She actually stayed the week and said she had fun so that is a big step for her because usually she hates it.
Her cousin has been a little mean to her, but Holli is so forgiving she lets it falls off of her. She had a melt down in the car when the cousin would not give her the DS back. I am now talking to her about not whining, but speaking very clearly about what she wants. If she wants her toy back she needs to say it in a very clear tone.

She started a new daycare today. I thought we would have problems, but her friend Ellie was there so she left and did not say a word to me.

I worked on her room a little bit and hope to do a little more this week since she will be at VBS in the evenings.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

End of the School Year


So far behind in updating

My Baby has graduated Kindergarten and is now moving to First grade. They are looping her class so she will get to have Jackie Dearman again. Words cannot tell you how happy I am about that. Ms. Dearman is an awesome teacher.


Holli was on the Red (Spritied) Team for Field Day. The kids had a blast with the water relays.


And to end the year on a great note. Holli was chosen as student of the month and had we attended her breakfast.


I am hoping the next 12 years are as great as her Kinder year

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Happy Mother's Day 2009




Yes, I am a week behind posting life has been hectic this week, but I had a wonderful mother's Day with my Mom and Sisters. Holli started off Mother's day with a wonderful magnet, a homemade card and a poem with her hand print on it. We then journeyed to my Mom's house we went to church with her and her wonderful pastor Jack is always so welcoming. we then went back to her house for a Mother's Day luncheon.
Such a wonderful time for us all to be together. I got a great picture of my Mom and holli, my little sister and the girls and one of Bruiser aka Ethan who would not be still

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

It took a while for me to get there



but I am so glad I am there. I asked the hard question. I got the answer I expected and it was so much easier to let all of the anger go. Two different people moving in two different directions.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Happy Easter











At first I was really sad about Easter. We did not buy new clothes, did not have a huge family meal planned, it was going to rain, we had not colored eggs and I did not get to take Holli to the huge egg hunt given by the city.

The diva and I went to a local church in The Colony called Horizons. We had went to their Egg Hunt on Saturday and decided to check them out. She wore a dress we had gotten last year, but had only wore once or twice and I made a small dinner for just the two us.

Holli loved Easter. She saw a classmate at the small egg hunt held on Saturday. She saw a different classmate at the church. The Easter Bunny visited. She loved dinner. She did not want to color the eggs and her Dad left her a gift outside our door. For me - The church had coffee and great muffins, no embarassing the new people, every one was dressed casually and I came home and sat at the table to eat dinner with my daughter instead of in front of the tv.

So all the things I was worried about "doing" for Easter because I did not have alot of money in the end really different matter.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Fiction or Non Fiction

Tuesday when we got in from the book fair. Holli started taking her books off of her bookshelf. I asked her what she was doing. She said she was making a
fiction shelf and a non fiction shelf.

I was never this smart.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

5 Minute Parent-Teacher Conference & Book Fair

Today I had a Parent-Teacher conference with Ms. Dearman (I just love her) She really did not have much to say. Holli is a Kindergartner who has been at a First grade level since before Christmas. Holli is a self motivator and pretty much wants to learn, researches the subject and gives herself homework. Ms. Dearman gave me a list of words Holli should know by the end of 1st grade and then added that Holli probably knew most of them. She knew every word, but would. So her advice for me was to continue doing what I have been doing. I feel so guilty when people tell me how wonderful she is doing because I know I have really nothing to do with her being so smart.I provide the tools, but I don't sit with her or anything. I tell her to read her books and I spell out the words she does not know when she is making her 100th book of the day. I am so blessed and I hope this love of learning continues.

I also had the pleasure of working the Book Fair today. Little kids like to touch everything. EVERYTHING even if they are not buying it. They also like to talk and ask alot of questions. They also want to tell you about why they like this book. All of them. Every grade level. They are loud. I now know my child is normal in an annoying way. :) Anyway Holli was so excited I was at her school and she got to be a walker, which meant your parent picked you up or in her case she was dropped off at the library. I wish I could be home and be a volunteer at her school. I know that is important to her and I would love to be that mom. I know that would make her so happy, but that is not in the cards at the moment. Hopefully one day soon I will win some lottery money, not going to hold my breath on the husband.

Hot New Restaurant in Town

Holli played restaurant ALL weekend. I was there yesterday and she told me I should come today since they are showing Hello Kitty for movie night

I told her I was not sure if I could come or not. She said okay, but I need your credit card because I still need to run your credit card even if you don't come.

WTH... :)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

So Mommy Lost it

It was such a sad morning at Diva Land today. Holli has taken to playing with my shoes as kids do. Last night she was in my shoes and did not put them by the door as I told her to do when she finished with them. so this morning we are leaving with barely a minute to spare and my shoes are not by the door and I lose it. Holli is now crying as I am yelling at her to find my shoes and ask her where did she leave them, which as we all know that you cannot think as someone is yelling at you. I know the morning would have been completely different if I if I had gotten up earlier and was not trying to rush out the door. I would have gotten up earlier if I had not went to bed at 1:30 am. If I went to bed earlier I would not always be tired and not resort to take out for lunch and dinner. If I stopped resorting to take out for lunch I would have more money to have more than 1 favorite pair of shoes that fit wonderfully. If I had more than 1 pair of favorite shoes, I would ahve worn another pair and told Holli to find my shoes when she got home and IF I would do that one simple things we would have had a calmer morning.

So yes my 6 yr old should have put my shoes back where she found them, but the real problem lies with me. I must start going to bed at a decent hour. I must go to the doctor and get something for my aniexty so I can stop tossing and turning and go to sleep. Sleep is the answer. So this evening I am going to apologize to the Diva because no one should have to start their morning off getting yelled at.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Happy Birthday Lilliana

We finally got an invite to a classmates birthday party and so we headed over to Lilliana for a her "6th" birthday party. I keep forgetting Holli is a year older than most of her classamtes. I had a blast. I got to meet 3 of her classmates Moms and we made plans for the kids to hang out together and go to the park. It will be great to have some friends in the neighborhood. I would love for Holli to phave playmates she can hang out with. I can't wait

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Spring Break 2009

So no wild trips to the coast, just nice and relaxing. So far the Diva and I have been to the park to fly her kite, bought me some new hair hung out at Ikea complete with face painting and wash,dried and folded 7 loads of laundry. I have read books and Holli has watch enough of Noggin for the year. She is really enjoying staying up late. tomorrow I plan to take her to Going Bonkers and let her have some fun and then back to the house for a major master bedroom clean up. I then plan to spend Saturday enjoying a viewing of Twilight. I am a little late to the party, but I have so enjoyed reading all 4 versions of the book the past few weeks. I hope the movie does not let me down. We have been chilling and relaxing.

The only sad spot on this week of course came from The Diva Father. He texts me Tuesday and goes can I come get littlebit Wed and Thurs. I am shocked thinking hmmm maybe this not speaking to each other for 3 weeks has made him miss his daughter. So I reply back yes, what time... 4 hours pass and he texts back. I will call you later and let you know Kyndra is here. Mystery solved. The diva's older sister is in town and she wants to see her. Oh well. I am looking forward to some me time for me and for The Diva to have some time with her older sister. I do not tell my daughter her father is coming to get her because he will change his mind and think nothing of it and the fact that he is hurting a child. We get up, get dressed and I decide to start my cleaning thinking that I can window shop after he picks her up. Time passes and still no Father, no phone call. I reread the text message to see if I got it wrong. Nope, he flaked out on her. Oh well maybe he will show up on Thursday. We get up have breakfast and I decide to make plans for us to get out of the house, if he wants her he can always reach me on my cell phone. So we get out and have some fun, still no phone call, no text nothing. I call my bestfriend to get some support. She has a theory that her father does this nonsense to get a rise out of me and then he can use his usual line of well if you cannot not be nice then I will not come around at all... So I don't call. I don't text. I ignore. I decided in February that I was going to let go and let God so I just exhaled. I have no idea why The diva's father would call and make plans to get her and then not even give me the common courtesy of saying he could not make it. I know that if I was to call he would throw all of this back on me. I am being mean. I can't talk to him this way yadda, yadda, yadda. I do know that I am tired of it. I am tired of the drama so I am going to continue as I had decided in February. I am not going to expect any more of him than what the state of TX has forced him to do. Pay child support and pay health ins. If he fails to do any either ne of those. I will let the state of TX handle it.

Well off to clean the kitchen and finish washing blankets. Trying to get the house all nice and clean so I can watch Twilight on Saturday and not feel guilty.

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Diva's Kinder Program




Holli had her Kinder Program and Open house last night. The Kinder program had been cancelled earlier. At the begining of the program 2 weeks ago a floor polisher started overheating and the smoke alarms went off so unfortanely the program had to be cancelled and rescheduled. Holli was chosen to be the narrator and did a wonderful job. I was so proud of her. She had so much poise and confidence and it showed

Monday, March 2, 2009

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

The Diva was very excited about Dr. Seuss' birthday and the fact that he is going to eat green eggs and ham at school today. Of course my little artist drew a picture to celebrate the occassion.

Dr. Seus

Monday, February 23, 2009

Let Go and Let God

That is such a hard thing for me to do, especially when it comes to my child. I want to fix. I want to save her from hurt. I can't stand for any injustice to come her way. So I fight, scream and yell and all it does it make ME madder. The Diva had a Kinder program on Thursday. It was the first and only Kinder program for the year and she was chosen to be the narrator of the entire program not just her class. A proud parent moment for sure. I told her father about it 4 weeks ago and he would not commit to coming. At 6:30, the program starts at 7 pm he calls me and says I am still at school, if you think I can make it I will come, but if you don't I won't come. What the hell?? I tell him that is a decision only you can he make. He then goes well I want to come and if you tell me I can make it on time, I will be there. I repeat my comment and tell him I have to go. Of course sine he called The Diva wants to know if her Daddy is coming to see her performance. I tell her I don't think so and she starts to cry. I tell her I am there and I will be clapping for her. She just sadly says I know. DAMN HIM - RAT BASTARD!

So the next day I decided to be positive and ask him if he his still taking his child to the Daddy/Daughter Princess Dance on Saturday. He says I don't know. It depends on if they schedule me to call a game. Now I am confused, why would you have yourself scheduled to call games when you know your daughter is wanting you to take her somewhere. Why can't you give your child and hour and half of your time for one Saturday. I cuss and fuss and it meant nothing to him. He cannot comprehend that he is being an ass to his child.

So Sunday night I decided to exhale, to let go. I have tried for 6 1/2 years to have him a part of his child's life. I have beg, bedded, pleaded, cussed and fussed and the only person that stresses out about this is me. I think a friend was right. It would be better for him to not be in her life at all then to be half ass and to constantly give her hope that he wants to be a father.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Day In History

Today our 44th President Barack H Obama was sworn in. No matter what your politics you could not help but be swept up in today's event. I bet Washington DC at the moment is creating enough energy to light up a couple cities. I loved the fact at work we were all watching the events on our computers and we stood up as our new President was being sworn in. We got to see history being made. We have young and old, black, white, hispanic, asian, native american, gay or straight all caught up in the excitement. We have a sense of hope of what the future can be in spite of the problems we face as a nation. We can believe that tomorrow is better. This is the change we as a country needed. Some say it's like the Kennedy era especially since our President has young children. I think it's good. As a parent, especially of young children your world is devoted to them so I believe that we have a President who will be looking our for my daughter's future. He will make policies that will help her reach her goals. I also love the fact that they let their daughter's be kids. The media is showing pictures of Sasha being a kid. Silly and all. She is the little sister, baby of the family. I hope she does not lose that over the next 4..ahem 8 years. We see Malia quiet, but studying all around her. She's a smart one. Although we have a facination with them. I truly hope the media leaves them alone and lets them be kids.

I am now praying for our country and for our President. I hope that we can get back on track, our economy stabilizes, my 401k gets back the money it lost, we bring the troops home, we are not the enemy of the rest of the world, that gays are allowed to have their own pursuit of happiness.

Why does it hurt so bad....

that's enough

Friday, January 2, 2009

Amy B - Thank you for your kindess

Monday, Holli and I took her Barbie Mariposa doll back to Wally World because the wings did not work. So we are then in line at the Mickey D's attached to the store and Holli is going on and on about her doll. Another Mom with 3 kids ask Holli does she have the movie. Holli tells her no, but she has seen it. She then asks me can she send me a copy of the movie. She says her MIL buys every single kids movies that comes out and her kids really didn't like the movie. I say ok, give her our address and then think, if the heffa does not mail the movie I am going to have to go out and buy one.

The movie came in the mail today. So Amy B thank you so much for your kindess, Holli has made you a thank you note and we are mailing it out tomorrow.